4 Essential Tips to Create your #girlsquad

When you make the conscious decision to #levelup all areas in your life, it requires you to have healthy friendships. Hustling by yourself, won't cut it. After all, we are here in this universe to explore and connect with people. We need people around us to challenge us on our journey of self-discovery.

When you make the conscious decision to #levelup all areas in your life, it requires you to have healthy friendships. Hustling by yourself, won't cut it. After all, we are here in this universe to explore and connect with people. We need people around us to challenge us on our journey of self-discovery.

Reality T.V. shows are devaluing sisterhood: from glorifying pettiness to showcasing women surrounding themselves amongst peers with trust issues. Without a doubt, this only leads to one being in pure attack mode 24/7. 

When I’m around powerful women, I want to sip tea while discussing implements we tried over the past week to improve ourselves. Plus, have meaningful connections and dialogues about our wins, how we learned from our losses and being able to comfortably seek non-egotistic advice.

Now I'm not saying I've been an "angel"  and never been tied up in petty drama. On the other hand, due to my experiences with unhealthy friendships it forced me to approach obstacles with my peers differently and become more mindful of who I surround myself with. Plus it was a huge wake-up call when I realized I can't change others.  I'm fully responsible for my OWN actions. (simple concepts, but life puts us through tests)

Healthy friendships are beneficial towards your mental health. This is a fact. 

NUMEROUS STUDIES HAVE PROVEN NON-TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS:

  • Prevents isolation
  • Reduces stress
  • Keeps your mind sharp
  • Improve your mood
  • Boost your self-worth

According to motivational speaker and entrepreneur, Jim Rohn, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. For example, when you emerge yourself around positive people, you are able to move through life with happiness. Work psychology professor, Peter Totterdell has proven when a team feels motivated and upbeat, the energy projects on each player, which results in an overall better performance.

Now, before investing time in forming your balance #girlsquad, your mindset needs some tweaking.  Why is mindset important? Because your energy (including thoughts) attracts those around you. It's interesting how this works. I used to complain about not having meaningful connections. Yet, my lifestyle was not reflecting the “ideal” people I dream of being around. Once I shifted my mindset, I realized I didn’t have to put a friendship ad on Craigslist. Now, I’m not saying to cut off ties with your current friends. Sometimes the members of your #girlsquard are one phone call away.  It was all just a matter of reconnecting and investing. 

The four ways to change your mindset while creating your squad.

1.FRIENDS ARE NOT YOUR CLONES

Your friends do not have to dress like you, dance like you, have the same #realationship goals, #lovegoals, #businessgoals and just overall #lifestylegoals. Not to mention they do not have to agree with EVERYTHING you say. 

Can you imagine showing up to a party and everyone speaks the same way, and just an overall yes men or woman! YIKES, It’s kinda scary.  Where’s the challenging dialogues within this situation?  

Selecting friends around vain and political views only put you in a situation where you are not growing and limiting your life experiences. 

2. STORE THE EGO AWAY

When it comes to any relationship, everything is not always about you. Has there ever been a time where you texted someone and they haven't responded back in the timely fashion you wanted? So you made all these assumptions and created a false reality. I’d admit, that has happened to me a couple of times and it was embarrassing. I made a fool out of myself.

There’s going to be times when the person isn't there at your beck and call. If you establish a trust so deep, where you can truly say that person cares about the betterment of you, then there would be no to assume ill intentions.

3. INTIMACY DOESN'T ALWAYS ADD UP TO ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPs

You don’t have to share your diary with this person and reveal all your deep secrets. It’s a precious feeling where you can open up to someone, be vulnerable, and have friends to hold you accountable for your visions and actions. Don’t be afraid to engage in eye contact.

Did you know we make 60% - 70% eye communication in the “ideal conversations”? When we make eye contact with someone it releases Oxytocin, which is the chemical associated with pair bonding. It develops the feeling of belonging.  As MD Adult Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Diplomate, Kai MacDonald will like to describe it as ‘the love hormone.” If you are not present, the other person may not be feeling your vibes. 

4. BE OPEN TO THE WORD “FUN” 

The way I view fun is constantly changing as I grow. Be open to trying new things and doing more intentional activities with your friends: watch a documentary and discuss, form a book club, or join forces for movement like yoga class. The idea is to do intentional activities that will help you to both grow. 

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Jhanelle Rivera